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M. It was going to be hell. I still didn’t know what I’d be able to take at PCAD.I left Coach Sam’s office and out of the athletic building straight into some kind of campus rally. It was the middle of July and still there were about a hundred people out on the athletic field. I wandered into it to see what was going on. This will be my campus in the fall. I should be aware of what is happening.Awareness. When it came down to it that was my one goal for the year. When I zone out while I’m painting, that’s one thing. But I couldn’t really remember anything of my first term at PCAD last year—in fact, nothing before Melody reached into my heart and pulled me into life. I knew there were campus events, plays, concerts, politics ... all kinds of things happening while I sank deeper into my darkness. This year, I’d be aware of my surroundings and of other people. First and foremost, that meant my family, but it also meant being aware of my environment and taking advantage of the. I don’t know how long we were there, but it was a while. Eventually, somehow, she got me home. We didn’t talk much. We would be, maybe tomorrow, but today, no.Everyone from the salon from where she had worked for so many years attended the funeral, even some long-time customers. The wake was at her house, my house now, I guess. I’d be selling it: too many memories for me to keep it.The wake ended in the early evening, and Penelope and I headed home and made plans for the following days. We’d be preparing the house for sale. Packing up mom’s stuff: some of it to donate to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Then we, especially me, would be remembering and weeping and getting on with our lives.Mom had been gone for a month. I was sitting across from my new bud, that I still sort of hated, making plans.“So?” said Lance.“Yes, I’ll be joining you at State full time,” I said. “We’ll be doing whatever tutoring we do in the library every day after our last class unless you’ve a group thing going.
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